Trump, Documents, and Government Part 2

     As we discussed before, we think of government officials as children, and then the antics become far more obvious. For the record, this is not an exact replica kind of argument, and likely is flawed in some ways, so take it with a grain of salt.

  • Before going further, let’s set some specific information out: 
  • Sibling 5 is Trump
  • Sibling 1 is the state
  • Grandma and Grandpa are the NARA and/or DOJ/FBI
  • Mom and Dad are the courts and legislature that have laid out the rules
  • Siblings 2, 3, 4 are former presidents
  • Sibling 6 is Biden
  • Youngest Sibling is whomever the current president is
  • Aunts and Uncles are people with security clearance
  • Cousins are average citizens
  • Glittery crayons are national security documents needed for day to day of current administration
  • Basic crayons are Presidential records
  • Pastel crayons are personal records
  • Name brand crayons are general classified records
  • Youngest Sibling Day denotes who is president during that day (ex. so Trump was president during Youngest Sibling Day 2016 and Biden president on Youngest Sibling Day 2017 and “day” refers to their entire time in office)

     So imagine a kid wants to get another kid into trouble. Generally, think siblings trying to get one another into trouble. Often times it’s obvious. But you do need to advance this idea to teenagers and not your average 6 year old. 

Angry teenagers can set up some quite nefarious things. Now we know that Sibling 5 (Trump) will always act a certain way. They have very specific triggers; i.e. if someone tries to take something he feels entitled to, he will always scream “no” and go on about what is and isn’t fair etc. He’s an entitled and predictable bratty teen. 

Angry Sibling 1 (the state) now has a very easy way to set this person up. (This is not an argument of what Sibling 5 deserves or if they were wrong or right  about wanting to keep something or if it was fair, nor an implication that it WAS a set up, just how everyone seems to be acting). You take what you know of someone and jump on it. 

So Sibling 1 is perfectly aware that Siblings 2, 3, and 4 have all kept some crayons,  that actually belonged to all the Siblings or whatever else. And Mom and Dad (legislature and courts) have made some rules about how long each other has to sort out whose is whose and if one of the Siblings thinks it’s being sorted wrong, Mom and Dad can look over how it is being categorized and whatever (judicial review). And arguments, at least ethically, SHOULD be handled as soon as the crayon reaches Youngest Sibling on Youngest Sibling Day. So if Sibling 5 labels something as his when it wasn’t, it should be handled right away, if possible. 

     According to the rules (PRA), Sibling 5 (let’s say it’s Youngest Sibling Day and that Sibling 5 is the youngest), gets to decide which crays are pastels and which are basic. He can also decide if glittery crayons can be shared with others. The rules are complicated though since Sibling 5 gets to decide most any of it. There is slight and complicated rules regarding the glittery crayons because when Sibling 6 is born, he’s supposed to have the glittery crayons for business. Maybe glittery crayons are the only ones that can be used to do social studies (something only the Youngest Sibling and the Aunts and Uncles do on Youngest Sibling Day). 

     Also according to the rules, Youngest Sibling gets to look at all the crayons, and for the most part, state which is which (see how this can get complicated? Glittery, pastel, and basic can all get mixed up depending on who is looking at them.) So Youngest Sibling is supposed to get crayons as time goes on and label them immediately, if he can. He can also change his mind about how he designated something. Sometimes they get mixed up together, whether he did it or he said, “this is pastel, put it in the box” and the person ordered to do it accidentally put it in the wrong box, etc. Ultimately, though, it IS supposed to be the judgement of the Youngest Sibling of what is what. 

    When Sibling 5 leaves, he, as it was with all the other Siblings, is supposed to return the glittery crayons to Grandma and Grandpa (needed for social studies work he won’t be doing anymore). Also supposed to give the basic crayons to Grandma and Grandpa to display for “these are the crayons Youngest Sibling Number 5 used!” in a museum, etc. He gets to keep the pastel crayons. The name brand crayons are more complicated, as they are the hardest to sort, and might possibly be needed later, etc. 

     Now, we know it’s about to be Youngest Sibling Day and there’s a new Sibling: Sibling 6 (Biden). Sibling 5 is packing stuff up and has a bunch of help packing stuff up. Now according to the rules, there’s an amount of time that Sibling 5 has to see if accidentally or intentionally, has glittery crayons that need to be returned so newest Youngest Sibling can still do their job. And obviously, not every glittery crayon is used everyday or all the time. It takes time to figure out one is missing or something. And again, Sibling 1, and frankly everyone else, all know that all of the Siblings, and even the Uncles and Aunts, have sometimes taken glittery crayons (accident or purposeful). 

     There are rules for the Cousins about having or seeing glittery crayons or the name brand crayons, where they can’t see them – that is unless Youngest Sibling designates them not a glittery or name brand crayon anymore. Or one of the glittery or name brand crayons that can no longer be used (maybe they’re worn to a nub, and have been replaced?)

There’s also rules about Aunts and Uncles with the glittery crayons and the name brand crayons. Most importantly being that they have to be careful not to let the Cousins see them, and therefore can’t have them in places they shouldn’t, etc. Clearly that’s happening all the time though, and mostly no one has done much about it. Former Siblings and Aunts and Uncles all have been less than careful about where they keep stuff and taking stuff home, particularly after they leave office or no longer are an Aunt or Uncle. 

     Ok. So Sibling 5 is leaving. Some stuff is packed where it shouldn’t be. He thinks he’s labeled everything correctly. He sees how all the others have handled being Youngest Sibling on Youngest Sibling Day. After leaving though, before the time is up to review, Grandma and Grandpa start asking for crayons of all kinds back. They state they had gone there looking for basic crayons (NARA has stated that they approached Trump looking for docs of historical value and learned there were classified and other docs when he returned some of them). 

     Grandma and Grandpa start asking for other crayons. Sibling 5 believes he’s given them everything. Grandma and Grandpa insist Sibling 5 hasn’t. So they get permission from Mom and Dad to go look through Sibling 5’s stuff. Sibling 5, per usual (he’s been doing this the entire Youngest Sibling Day), screams that they didn’t ever do this with the OTHER Siblings and it’s so unfair and etc. etc. He insists he labeled everything correct (also predictable as he never believes he’s every made a mistake). But the crayons Grandma and Grandpa find when they go through Sibling 5’s stuff, they insist are the glittery crayons that they needed to do social studies homework and the name brand crayons and even the basic crayons. 

     Sibling 5 is still pissed insisting he’s not treated the same as everyone else (true or false doesn’t matter here), and insists he never made a mistake (he’s arrogant as hell). He insists Sibling 6 and Sibling 1 are out to get him. This is what he always does. But what’s more, is now Sibling 1 has taken the information Grandma and Grandpa found and are squealing about how Sibling 5 was trying to steal the glittery crayons so they couldn’t do their social studies homework and cause them harm. They’re insisting he was lying and doing it on purpose. They squeal that he was trying to ruin the family (America) and was going to sell the crayons to another social studies class (different country) with whom this social studies class competes. 

 

     Now, was this a set up? Can’t say. Hard to say if anyone put crayons where they didn’t belong to get Sibling 5 into trouble or if he mislabeled them or if he legitimately thought he’d labeled them correctly but was wrong, or maybe Grandma and Grandpa are wrong and misunderstanding how Sibling 5 classified things. We just don’t know yet. 

     But it hasn’t stopped Sibling 5 from squealing how unfair it is and how he’s never messed up and how people are out to get him, OR Sibling 1 from squealing about how Sibling 5 did it on purpose, how he was trying to destroy the family, or that Sibling 5, at minimum was doing it on purpose. We haven’t yet gone to Mom and Dad to sort it out. Right now, everyone’s at each other’s throats, extremely hyperbolically, and with overly dramatic antics and rhetoric. 

And we, the Cousins, are choosing sides to rally and support the Sibling we like best, etc. Exhausting and annoying, eh? 

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